Sunday, October 07, 2007
Diagnostic: Holiday Season 2007
This is prompted by the fact I just saw a commercial for a christmas movie on tv.
At the beginning of October. WTF
The current trend is christmas marketting seems to be an 'expand the season' approach which is sure to cause some kind of malthusianesque business disaster or something at some point, when they start expecting people to push Black Friday up to mid september and... gasp, it doesn't work at all.
But this years current forerunner for Seasonal Lameness is:
Hollywood.
Advertising a highly seasonal movie TWO MONTHS before it is relevent, now that's brilliant. I don't even remember the name of it, all I remember is Santa, snow, elf horseshit and a lot of guys getting hit in the balls. Interest level = 0
At the beginning of October. WTF
The current trend is christmas marketting seems to be an 'expand the season' approach which is sure to cause some kind of malthusianesque business disaster or something at some point, when they start expecting people to push Black Friday up to mid september and... gasp, it doesn't work at all.
But this years current forerunner for Seasonal Lameness is:
Hollywood.
Advertising a highly seasonal movie TWO MONTHS before it is relevent, now that's brilliant. I don't even remember the name of it, all I remember is Santa, snow, elf horseshit and a lot of guys getting hit in the balls. Interest level = 0
Thursday, September 27, 2007
F FOR EFFORT!
http://www.omodern.com/
I don't care if you think it's ugly, its more interesting than the ugly shit-crap we made over here.
At least they have windows, and lights, and you know... patterns. Patterns that don't look like the interior of vintage coffins, or like total boring shit.
I don't care if you think it's ugly, its more interesting than the ugly shit-crap we made over here.
At least they have windows, and lights, and you know... patterns. Patterns that don't look like the interior of vintage coffins, or like total boring shit.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Retrofuturism Marches On
Whatever happened to aluminum-and-neon postmodernism?
There are two things we need in the next 10 years, and if we don't accomplish them, then we have failed as America.
They are:
1. Get the hell back to the moon, damn it.
2. Aluminum and neon robot sex.
There are two things we need in the next 10 years, and if we don't accomplish them, then we have failed as America.
They are:
1. Get the hell back to the moon, damn it.
2. Aluminum and neon robot sex.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
NSFW enforced
According to this we should all be plastering little disclaimer icons all over anything we put on the interenet informing those who can't identify the obvious that something is 'civil content' or not.
That's great, next all we need is an Ayatohllah of the internet and then maybe we'll also take a hint from the PRC and start stealing people from their homes and chopping their balls off for saying "I disagree with the president".
Slippery fucking slope, Tim.
We already have a way of warning someone if something is offensive: ever heard the term NSFW?
Sunday, February 11, 2007
now Andrew will probably tear this apart
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Summaries of Childrens' Books
Here's something fun. Summaries of those books used to teach kids how to read in elementary school. The ones that are barely 10 pages in length with 16-point font. Looking back, their simplicity is simply astounding.
For example, the book that was either constantly checked out, or stolen from my elementary school's library:
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
The english alphabet becomes animate and uses it's new found life to race to the top of some tree in correct sequence... I'll spoil the ending: THE TREE BREAKS, okay?
This next book got lost in some kid's desk for most of the year:
Round as a Pancake
Bunch of stuff happens to imply a circular shape. That's it.
I was in primary school in the early nineties, when SNES and dinosaurs were popular so we read:
Thunder
Bunch of kids hang out with some sauropod, some stuff happens. I don't remember if at the end they have a birthday party or if he DIES. Maybe both.
For example, the book that was either constantly checked out, or stolen from my elementary school's library:
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
The english alphabet becomes animate and uses it's new found life to race to the top of some tree in correct sequence... I'll spoil the ending: THE TREE BREAKS, okay?
This next book got lost in some kid's desk for most of the year:
Round as a Pancake
Bunch of stuff happens to imply a circular shape. That's it.
I was in primary school in the early nineties, when SNES and dinosaurs were popular so we read:
Thunder
Bunch of kids hang out with some sauropod, some stuff happens. I don't remember if at the end they have a birthday party or if he DIES. Maybe both.